Post pregnancy painful intercourse: how to cope?
After giving birth, a woman undergoes many changes, both in her body (hormones, the pelvic floor…) and in her mind. Certainly, the arrival of the baby is wonderful, and we are delighted to spend time with him. But it also represents a turning point in a woman’s life. And sometimes, her libido significantly decreases, preventing any sexual intercourse after childbirth. Is this your case? Don’t worry, it is a normal and quite common phenomenon… But above all, it is not inevitable. You will be able to regain the desire to make love and here’s how.
The factors causing a decrease in libido after childbirth
During and after pregnancy, a woman goes through many changes. Whether they are physical (hello big belly!), hormonal, or psychological, they transform her profoundly.
It often starts during pregnancy. Fear, stress, lack of self-confidence, or physical discomfort… The pregnant woman experiences a complete upheaval that affects, among other things, her sexual activity. Hence the reluctance that can set in regarding sexual intercourse after childbirth.
Then, after the baby arrives, other factors also contribute to this decrease or even absence of libido:
Extreme fatigue
First, there is the lack of restorative sleep. During the first few months, the baby rarely sleeps through the night, preventing its parents from sleeping. Not being able to sleep for more than a few hours at a time is extremely exhausting. Especially for a woman who is recovering from childbirth!
Add to that the great tiredness caused by breastfeeding. You then have a young mother who only dreams of one thing: SLEEP.
Hormonal changes
Furthermore, the decrease in libido can also result from the numerous postpartum hormonal changes. Indeed, after giving birth, breastfeeding leads to the production of prolactin. This hormone tends to reduce sexual desire.
Moreover, the drop in hormones following childbirth strongly affects the mood of the young mother. Among the culprits: the sudden decrease in oxytocin, the love hormone.
A new priority: the baby
Arrival of a baby makes us all a little gaga. But it’s even more intense for the mother, who dedicates herself entirely to her little one.
Here again, this almost exclusive attachment is a biological and natural phenomenon: the baby’s survival depends on it. And by extension, the young mother pays less attention to her partner, which then affects the intimacy of the couple.
Fear of pain during intercourse
Then, women often fear resuming sexual activity after childbirth, fearing pain.
This fear is even more pronounced in case of stitches (after an episiotomy, tearing, or a cesarean section).
Moreover, vaginal dryness post-partum is another factor of discomfort, even pain. Similarly, men are also less inclined to have sexual intercourse for fear of hurting their partner.
Loss of self-confidence
Finally, women also face countless physical changes in the weeks following childbirth. Hair loss, pregnancy weight, stretch marks… Not to mention the nursing bra, rarely sexy.
In short, self-confidence is at its lowest, to the point that childbirth can even lead to postpartum depression. Yes, women are warriors! But you already knew that.
How to boost your libido
After childbirth, there is no specific duration to wait before reigniting your sex life. It can vary from a few days to several months, depending on the women. The only medical precaution is to wait until the end of bleeding or to use a condom to prevent infections.
Some professionals may also recommend waiting 6 weeks before considering sexual intercourse after childbirth. The aim is not to aggress the perineum, which needs time to recover. In any case, the idea is to take it gradually.
I take care of my pelvic floor
Communication and Reconnection
The key to rediscovering your sexuality within your relationship is first and foremost to communicate. The man must listen to his partner, who must express her feelings.
So reconnect through special attentions, by recreating intimate moments (cuddles, kisses, massages, foreplay…).
And don’t necessarily think about penetration right away. Sex after childbirth can take many forms. Tenderness and communication above all.
Caring for Your Pelvic Floor
Carrying the baby for 9 months, pushing during childbirth, or episiotomy… The perineum has also suffered a lot during this whole period. Hence the importance of being serious about your perineal rehabilitation sessions.
In addition to toning it, this strengthening can also offer better sexual sensations and boost orgasms. This is the case of Lili, for example, who rediscovered her sexuality a year after giving birth thanks to the Emy probe.
Sexual Fulfillment After a Baby is Possible!
Rest assured, all young mothers are different. And many of them do not feel any major changes after giving birth… Except for the joy of having brought their little one into the world!
And if you do indeed experience postpartum libido decline, follow our advice. Take your time, and you will once again desire sexual intercourse after childbirth.
However, if you still face these issues after many months or even years, do not stay alone. Whether it’s persistent pain or absence of desire, we strongly recommend consulting a health professional. A physical therapist, midwife, sexologist, or psychologist can help you rediscover a fulfilled sexuality.
Free Pelvic floor guide
Find out how to strengthen your pelvic floor to prevent bladder weakness and improve intimate pleasure! 💥
